Due to the continued outrageous demands from Ms.Brookover’s agent, attorneys and personal hairdresser, the writer’s strike continues and you have to once again endure the ramblings of Keith, the oozy scab.
Capital City Peeps,
Hola mi amigos y beetches!
Lora gave us an appropriate theme for our meeting today: Weather. Appropriate cuz I noticed when I stepped outside there was indeed weather and there continued to be weather most of the day. Our polished Toastmaster was her usual engaging self, weathering the responsibilities of Toastmastering with gusto, skill and humor.
John added a fun twister as our Table Topics Master by allowing some of the visitors he brought from South America to present the questions to the participants, thankfully in English. We found out some interesting tidbits: Jason would go to South America in any season but would prefer the warmer weather so he could wear his grape smuggler. It was a visual many of the women and Albert enjoyed. Stuart’s long absence was explained as he told us he was riding the range and cowpoking in South America, falling off his steed and injuring his back causing to him wear the largest fanny pack anyone has ever seen. He taught us that the Spanish word for “lasso” is “lasso”. The coldest weather Louis had to endure was in the military, lying in a puddle in the cold rain, lobbing fake grenades at fake people. If ever we go to war with mannequins, he’s our first line of defense. And don’t think they’re not planning something. I spewed some disjointed drivel long enough for the green light. And yellow. And red. And then some. It was all true and poetic and came from the heart all for my beetches. Taline claims she is the worst dancer in the world but would dance with Ethan Hawke barefooted on broken glass while on fire.
Maria gave us a speech about her occupation which deals with the world of insurance in the state of Texas. “Make sure you have enough and you’re properly covered (one hand on hip, the other shaking a finger at us)”, she might have said. I especially enjoyed her example of me and my “friend” or wife or who ever that woman was laughing maniacally as we ran over Amy Samet repeatedly with my under-insured car. The speech was informative, consumer-oriented and she even had related literature in English and Spanish - good job. Wendy scurried away from her usual rat-related speech topic to discuss a serious topic, breast feeding the homeless. I mean, tube feeding sick people. She did her research well discussing a little history, procedural facts and the importance of not lying on your tube. It was a well-crafted, effective speech delivered with her usual warm smile.
Corky evaluated Maria suggesting that she infuse her speech with more stories, true or not, but the big meanie never said anything nice so our General Evaluator, Albert, provided the softer side of the evaluation noting her improved eye contact and voice projection. Amy evaluated Wendy pointing out her enthusiasm, good research though reminding Wendy we not be smart, too much detail make head hurt. Albert didn’t like our piggish, American speaking style. We need to enunciate, slow down and speak louder so our foreign visitors can more easily understand us. I guess he’s right because, this is the truth, after the meeting one of the South American ladies asked me if I said “boobs”. At first I thought she was reading my mind but then I remembered I said “booze” in reference to something that keeps me warm. Unfortunately, booze is more readily available to me.
Rey provided us the word of the day, “Sunshine” and yes, she even said, “Rey of Sunshine”, which she is. Patrick timed us, spattering his info with breezy weather-related commentary. Brendan insulted a nation of people and two major religious denominations with his chuckle.
And the winners were -
Best Table Topic: Stuart
Best Speaker: Windy (get it?)
Best Evaluator: Amy
Best Humor: Keith (back on top)
Most Enthusiasm: John